David Letterman Apologizes to Wife and Staff
David Letterman began the night with a monologue devoted to jokes about his sleeping with staff members scandal to the applause and cheers from his studio audience because being an adulterous skank is hilarious like that. Then again I’m pretty sure the Letterman audience is filled with tards, they laugh at anything at anytime.
“Did your, did your weekend just fly by?,” he asked. “I got into the car this morning and the navigation lady wasn’t speaking to me. There is a possibility that i will be the first talk show host impeached.”
“You know, it’s fall here in New York city, and I spent the entire weekend raking up my hate mail. It’s cold too… chilly outside my house, chilly inside my house.”
“The going rate for a screenplay based on this show right there: $3 million,” he joked. “Usually when I’m shaken down for money, it’s my relatives. But this is only phase one of the scandal. Next week, I go on Oprah and sob.”
The ability to laugh at yourself is an admirable trait and all, but come on!
David finally attempted a sincere apology to his wife and staff, but made sure to stress how the blackmailer made him the actual victim in this case. You’re not a victime, Dave, you’re a whore.
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