Drunk, Crossdressing, Christmas Stealing 4 Year Old’s Wild Night Out

Waking up in the middle of the night to find your small child missing is probably the greatest fear of any parent. Finding out your child is a drunkard, crossdresser, and burglar before they’re old enough to enter kindergarten makes you a Spears.

Police officials in Tennessee say a 4-year-old boy was found roaming the streets Tuesday night, drunk and wearing a little girl’s dress after stealing Christmas gifts right out from under his neighbor’s tree! Apparently, little 4-year-old Hayden Wright woke up in a middle of the night and began drinking the beer in refrigerator. Buzzed but not drunk, Hayden decided to take the party to his next door neighbor’s house. He was able to enter the neighbor’s house through an unlocked door and immediately noticed a bunch of presents under the Christmas tree. Drunk 4 year old and Christmas presents…what could possibly go wrong?

Hayden opened up five of them, including a dress that happen to be in his size and promptly slipped it on. Feeling pretty, Hayden then went to another neighbor’s house, but was unable to get in. That neighbor called the cops who then found Hayden wandering the streets in the stolen dress while drinking the beer.

Hayden and his mother were taken to hospital and subsequently released. According to the mother, 21-year-old April Wright, the boy “wants to go to jail because that’s where his daddy is.”

Child protective services met with the mother and told her she will get to keep custody of her son.