Robert Pattinson Hates Vaginas
There are some things in life I will never understand and Robert Pattinson is one of them. In a photoshoot and interview for Details Magazine the dumpster boy poses with a naked woman, but jokes about being allergic to vaginas:
“I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vagina. But I can’t say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours. But I wasn’t exactly prepared. I had no idea what to say to these girls. Thank God I was hungover.”
Nice try, Rob, but I doubt that will deter any of the millions of Twilight stans, they’ll just soak their cooch in a gallon of Zyrtec.
Robert’s weirdness doesn’t stop there going on to deny that he’s dating Kristen Stewart -or any woman for that matter- but instead chose to basically admit to wanting to marry his dog and mentioning how being fondled by an elephant was the best day of his life.
“The only emotional connection of relevance is with my dog. My relationship with my dog, it’s ridiculous.”
I love my dog as well, but major side eye…
“Did you know elephants purr? It’s completely scary if you don’t know what it is. They purr like cats, but their heads are so deep they sound like velociraptors. You feel it in the ground under your feet. So this big female started sniffing my foot—big female elephant, that is. She sniffed it so hard it came up off the pavement like her trunk was a vacuum cleaner. Then she took my entire body in her mouth. I was holding on to her head, and as I slowly let go she tightened her grip really carefully until I’m just upside down in her mouth and she’s going through my pockets with her trunk, looking for peppermints. It was the best day of my life.”
Details: So you gave up control to an elephant, got groped, mugged, had your candy tugged at—and it was glorious?
“Yeah. So beautiful you can’t imagine. And the baby elephant was so excited that it sprinted out and did its routine in five seconds and then curtsied to everybody. It was actually laughing. Brilliant. Did you know they can also do imitations of other animals? A horse, a chicken, a monkey—these elephants could, anyway. They were movie elephants. One had written a screenplay, and one really wants to direct.”
The more you know! I get the feeling Rob would never tire of staring at the nether regions of elephants (or his dog) for the greater part of his day. So basically the Twihards should look into becoming elephant Furries.
Check out the full photoshoot featuring Rob and those detestable vaginas.
Related Posts
Gossip Beast is powered by Gorilla Themes and WordPress
This website uses IntenseDebate comments, but they are not currently loaded because either your browser doesn't support JavaScript, or they didn't load fast enough.